Sow-sigh-uh-chicago

Some claim that after uh cuppa too-tree beerz, my sowside accent startz to come out a bit. To help udders understand me, check out da following translation guide. (I got this from http://dominantreality.blogspot.com)

1. Grachki (grach'-key): Chicagoese for "garage key" as in, "Yo, Theresa, waja do wit da grachki? How my supposta cut da grass if I don't git intada grach?"

2. Sammich: Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; when made with shredded beef, it's an Italian Beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.

3. Da: This article is a key part of Chicago speech, as in "Da Bears" or "Da Mare" -- the latter denoting Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often called.

4. Jewels: Not family heirlooms or a tender body reg ion, but a popular name for one of the region's dominant grocer y store chains. "I'm goin' to the Jewels to pick up some sassage."

5. Field's: M arshall Field, a prominent Chicago department store (unfortunately, it's a thing of the past.) Also Carson Pirie Scott, another major department store chain, is simply called " Carson's."

6. Tree: The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."

7. Over by dere: Translates to "over by there," a way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at
the Jewels down on Kedzie, over by dere."

8. Kaminski Park : The mispronounced name of the ballpark where the Chicago White Sox (da Sox) play baseball. Comiskey Park was renamed U.S. Cellular Field (da Cell).

9. Frunchroom: As in, "Get outta da frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes." It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room."

10. Use : Not the verb, but the plural pronoun 'you!' "Where use goin'?"

11. Downtown: Anywhere near The Lake, south of The Zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo) and north of Soldier Field.

12. The Lake : Lake Michigan . (What other lake is there?) It's often used by local weathermen, "cooler by The Lake."

14. Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut."

15. Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Den he goes, 'I like dis place'!"

16. Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.

17. Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "Do ya wanna canna pop?"

18. Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from White Castle , a popular Midwestern burger chain. "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs."

19. The Taste: The Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland cuisine which takes place each year around the Fourth of July holiday.

20. "Jeetyet?": Translates to, "Did you eat yet?"

21. Winter and Construction: Punch line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in Chicago?"

22. Cuppa Too-Tree: is Chicagoese for "a couple, two, three" which really means "a few." For example, "Hey Mike, dere any beerz left in da cooler over by dere?" "Yeh, a cuppa too-tree."

23. 588-2300: Everyone in Chicago knows this commercial jingle and the carpet company yo u'll get if you call that number -- Empire!

24. Junk Dror: You will usually find the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen filled to the brim with miscellaneous, but very important, junk.

25. Southern Illinois : Anything south of I-80. This is where Smothers' is from....

26. Expressways: The Interstates in the imm ediate Chicagoland area are usually known just by their 'name' and not their Interstate number: the Dan Ryan ("da Ryan"), the Stevenson, the Kennedy (da "Kennedy"), the Eisenhower (da "Ike"), and the Edens (just "Edens" but Da Edens" is acceptable).

27. Gym Shoes: The rest of the country may refer to them as sneakers or running shoes but Chicagoans wil l always call them gym shoes!


This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Chicago...

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago.

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago.

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago.

If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago.

If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago.

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Chicago.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and; road construction, you live in Chicago .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago .

If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago.

Allie has glasses

It appears that Allie will have her father's eyesight...
She was excited about her glasses - hopefully because she can see a lot better. But it was pretty clear (pun intended) that she would need glasses since she had squinted all of the time.

Amazingly, they say that if her eyes are reasonably worse next year, they suggest that she get contacts since it may slow down the myopia process.

No wonder the US has mortgage problems

The huge mortgage bailout currently being debated will essentially help banks who make foolish decisions. However, the attached story is likely the most amazingly loose credit guidelines I've ever heard of. Banks appear to give their money away too easily and this story proves it.

Can I handle the pressure?

I've resisted putting my training runs on my blog since I wasn't sure I could handle the pressure. However, it appears that I am running a half marathon in September and that I'd better be sure to be adequately. Therefore, I suppose I could use the added pressure of outside forces to keep me honest in training. My most recent 5 runs will be updated as I enter them into my online log.

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FMB Review

Just prior to the 4th of July, we went to Ft. Myers Beach. It was our first beach vacation with the kids and I think we will do it again. FMB is a pretty laid back community and it was the kind of place that you could wear your bathing suit everywhere.

Here are some pictures (if you click it twice, you should be taken to a site to get a bit larger pics):


Our typical day was hanging out at the pool from late morning to dinner time - we couldn't pull the kids away! Once in a while we'd try to convince them to go to the beach - after all, when are they going to really be able to see that? But most of the time it was around the pool. Ter and I would sample some of the pool bar drinks (our favorite is the Miami Vice - half strawberry daiquiri, half pina colada). Some days they had kids' activities around the pool which Allie mostly participated in. Anna was just happy hanging out in the pool (which probably contributed to the swimmer's ear she got upon returning to Bloomington). After spending most of the day at the pool, we'd got to the Times Square section of the island, which is kind of their downtown. There they had shops, restaurants, and lots of people.

Anna did get sick the first day, but laid around the first day and felt much better by night time. While Ter and Anna were in the room together, I competed in the Diamondhead's drink making contest. Basically, three contestants had seven ingredients to concoct their own drink recipe. The very cheap ingredients were vodka, rum, peach schnapps, melon liqueur, pineapple juice, orange juice, and cranberry juice. My drink was a variation of the classic fuzzy navel, which I called the fuzzy pineapple. My WINNING recipe was:

• Fill tall glass with ice
• Put in one shot of vodka and one shot of peach schnapps
  
• Fill with pineapple juice
• Top with splash of cranberry juice
  

The weather was actually pretty perfect. First, it wasn't nearly as hot as I expected it to be. Yes, there were a few times when you'd be sweating while just sitting down. But if you dipped your feet in the pool, you'd cool off instantly. Plus, there really was only like an hour or two during the day that it was really THAT hot - the breeze off the gulf made it perfect. Yes, it did rain just about everyday, but it was literally exactly when we wanted it to rain. One day it rained when we got back to our hotel after calling it a night and two other days it rained during dinner. The last day we decided to do some night swimming and the weather decided to hold off for us - the only day it didn't rain at night.

FMB is on a pretty narrow island (Estero Island) and if we decide to do it again next year, we might look into renting a house. Anywhere on the island would be less than a half mile to the beach and there are beach access roads literally every block. Since the kids were not that interested in the beach, it might be nice to have your own house.

Allie as amateur photographer

Here is Allie asking Anna pose for a number of pictures. Apparently, Allie said "be happy", "be sad", etc. and Anna just posed for the pics. We had no idea they were taking these pictures until we loaded them into the computer.

I think we have some artists here...Which is more talented? The artist or the subject?